What did we do last night that was yellow?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
