so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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