I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
