it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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