"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I deserve to be covered in dicks
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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