i permit you to call me
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
