I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
