Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
either way he was missing a nipple.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
