names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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