I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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