The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I intend to get homeless drunk
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
