Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize