You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize