it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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