dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
They are going to name an STD after you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i out mim tonsoeep
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
