K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
