dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
