I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
