T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
