I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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