she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
