Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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