By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
