Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
