beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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