When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.