I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.