at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"