i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
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I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
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You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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