Soap is not a condiment
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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