In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
