their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
