singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
