You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
