Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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