everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
