You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
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On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
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I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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