While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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