Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
