My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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