you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
