Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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