I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
