theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
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Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno