glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
