since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
