You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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