Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I love you. Go after that dick
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
