You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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