I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
