theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize