Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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