You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
