i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
