Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
