I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
