No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
