You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I stole a fireplace last night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
