I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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