i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
