you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
