You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
